Diapers stink.
Even before they've been used. I hate changing diapers. I hate paying for diapers. I hate having boxes of diapers in our food storage. I hate having cloth diapers as a backup on hand.
After they've been used, I hate them even more. I hate the smell of ammonia. I hate how unpleasant the wet paper and chemicals feel as I'm taking them out. I hate how the solid contents feel.
I hate everything about diapers, just not as much as I hate cleaning poop off the carpet.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Thursday, April 24, 2014
How I Lost My Marbles
Marbles have become the currency of our household. Do something nice, get a marble. Help around the house, get a marble. Do your homework, get a marble.
They're bright, they're shiney, and just what young children want.
Except the marbles aren't for them, they're for me.
We didn't have a strict chore-chart or requirements for our kids until about two weeks ago, when all the noise, and fighting, and general chaos common to a household with many young children finally caused me to emotionally snap.
I don't know what exactly snapped in my head, but I think it was along the lines of, "I'm working two jobs trying to provide a good living and future for these kids and they won't even show me the kindness of responding to me when I call their names anymore. That's it!"
The weather was agreeable enough, so I put coats on them and said, "go outside until I figure out what to do with you."
I went downstairs and Dani and I talked about my concerns. Feeling like the kids were just taking and taking more and more from me everyday and not really giving anything back (even emotionally) in return.
Now some ancient history. I am the grandson of a man named Henry. Henry was a man too stubborn to work for anyone else, so he started (what became) a successful car dealership in the 1950s. After my dad had finished doing work for him on a particularly hard day, he was given $1.40. My dad asked, "Is that it?" to grandpa, who then took him to his bedroom pointed at it and said, "how much are you paying me for that?"
Dad, still a kid said, "Nothing. . ."
"Well, there ya go." and Henry walked off.
I am the emotional and biological descendant of that man. I understand what he was thinking here. It's not that he didn't love his son enough to provide for him, it's that he did the work needed for him to survive without any tangible return on it. The tangible return is an important thing for people like me.
Having the unconditional love of my children is nice. Having them hug me and say they're happy I'm in their lives is what keeps me going. Believing they'll do great things with their lives is nice, having them excel on their school work or in a particular skill set is what motivates me to work harder as a parent.
And, by golly, marbles are tangible.
So, now, every time they do something that takes them a step closer to being self-sufficient, we give them a marble or two to put in a jar. The current exchange rate is about $0.20/marble, and they can easily earn 4-8/day, with an effective maximum per day of 18.
And, until the fighting stops and I get some of the more meaningful tangible benefits back, they owe me two marbles a day for their room and board. I'm pleased to report that all my kids are paid up through the week. It's stupid and immature on my part, but it keeps me going--and I hope they'll learn some basic money-management skills in the process.
They're bright, they're shiney, and just what young children want.
Except the marbles aren't for them, they're for me.
We didn't have a strict chore-chart or requirements for our kids until about two weeks ago, when all the noise, and fighting, and general chaos common to a household with many young children finally caused me to emotionally snap.
I don't know what exactly snapped in my head, but I think it was along the lines of, "I'm working two jobs trying to provide a good living and future for these kids and they won't even show me the kindness of responding to me when I call their names anymore. That's it!"
The weather was agreeable enough, so I put coats on them and said, "go outside until I figure out what to do with you."
I went downstairs and Dani and I talked about my concerns. Feeling like the kids were just taking and taking more and more from me everyday and not really giving anything back (even emotionally) in return.
Now some ancient history. I am the grandson of a man named Henry. Henry was a man too stubborn to work for anyone else, so he started (what became) a successful car dealership in the 1950s. After my dad had finished doing work for him on a particularly hard day, he was given $1.40. My dad asked, "Is that it?" to grandpa, who then took him to his bedroom pointed at it and said, "how much are you paying me for that?"
Dad, still a kid said, "Nothing. . ."
"Well, there ya go." and Henry walked off.
I am the emotional and biological descendant of that man. I understand what he was thinking here. It's not that he didn't love his son enough to provide for him, it's that he did the work needed for him to survive without any tangible return on it. The tangible return is an important thing for people like me.
Having the unconditional love of my children is nice. Having them hug me and say they're happy I'm in their lives is what keeps me going. Believing they'll do great things with their lives is nice, having them excel on their school work or in a particular skill set is what motivates me to work harder as a parent.
And, by golly, marbles are tangible.
So, now, every time they do something that takes them a step closer to being self-sufficient, we give them a marble or two to put in a jar. The current exchange rate is about $0.20/marble, and they can easily earn 4-8/day, with an effective maximum per day of 18.
And, until the fighting stops and I get some of the more meaningful tangible benefits back, they owe me two marbles a day for their room and board. I'm pleased to report that all my kids are paid up through the week. It's stupid and immature on my part, but it keeps me going--and I hope they'll learn some basic money-management skills in the process.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Four Under Seven
So, Dani and I had a pretty quick start to the whole parenting thing.
Four kids, the oldest is six.
To give some of the non-parents some insight as to what that means: little kids really can't take care of themselves. In fact, that's how they come--completely dependent on your time and energy. Everything they want out of life is provided by you.
If this were a hostage situation, then the silver lining to the situation is that their demands are simple--fresh milk every two hours, a new diaper about every 3-5 hours, and to be held or otherwise played with for at least 70% of their waking life. Since they sleep 16-20 hours a day, this really amounts to being half as productive as you'd otherwise be for 4 hours out of the day, dealing with some unpleasant smells, and mother having a highly irregular sleep routine.
And then they get older, and suddenly the hostage situation becomes a lot more real.
Fast forward two years, and suddenly they can walk, they can say words, they can climb, and their demands are no longer so simple or straightforward. They've, thankfully, realized that the bargaining position of, "mom never sleeps" is untenable. However, they now have some bargaining powers beyond screaming.
Negotiations take more effort, but less time, for example:
Me: Y, you've got to limit your dairy, or you'll get clogged up and put in a lot of pain.
Y: Cheese?
Me: It's gonna hurt you
Y: Want cheese!
Me: We've had this conversation before, and if I cave in, then you'll be crying in pain tomorrow
Y then puts the cheese down, and will either fall back to her old methods of crying, or use her new bargaining chip of starting a fight with her sister.
Then onto the four year old. They've learned exactly which buttons of yours to push, and which not to by how you respond to them. This either means your kid starts to become a clear blessing to your house, or a curse--depends on what they learned from observation. For us, it's a bit of both. She's learned that we sometimes respond to extreme emotional outbursts--uncontrollable crying, whimpering in a corner, but still relies heavily on her old fallback of fighting with her sister.
V: Can I watch ponies?
Me: You've watched 3 hours of T.V. today, time to find something else
V then promptly finds a toy, and starts playing with it right in front of her sister, often taunting her with it until her 2-year-old will-power is all but spent and she grabs for it.
Me: Why are you fighting?
V: Y took my toy!
Me (thinking): Who does she think she's fooling here? I'm not gonna reward them for bad behavior, but I have been working 10 hour days for the past month and I just want this fighting to end.
Me (aloud) : Alright, I'm taking all the toys and everyone can just sit and stare at the wall
-- 10 minutes later, a fight breaks out over who gets to stare at what dot on the wall --
My hope of spending 20 minutes decompressing from the day is shot. It was held hostage, but I didn't meet the demand of unending entertainment, and now one of the hostages is dead.
Me: Go play in different rooms
-- They casually obey, but pretend like they didn't hear anything after 5 minutes and we're back to where we were before the first fight broke out, until I forget that V has watched 3 hours of T.V., give up, and put an educational show on --
Needless to say, I am not particularly proficient at hostage negotiations with the four year old yet.
Then there's the six year old. She's sweet, but devious. She can be bribed, because she's learned the value of helping around the house and doing her homework. With proper maneuvering, I can use this one against the other 3 and hopefully sneak away from parenting long enough to go to the bathroom if I play my cards right.
And then I hear all three of the mobile children screaming.
N: Y hit me!
Me: Why did she hit you?
N: I don't know. . .
Me: What do you want me to do about it?
N: Tell her to stop
Me: Do you think that will work?
N: Yeah. . .
Me: Do you know how many times I've asked her not to hit?
N: Hmmm. . .twice?
Me: I've been telling her not to hit one to two times a day for the past 18 months, so that's anywhere from 400 to 800 times already. Do you think once more is gonna change her mind?
N: No. . .
Me: Look, I have never hit or pushed her. If she learned how to do that, she learned how to do it from you or from V. The best way to get her to stop pushing and fighting is to teach her by example and never hit or fight, but find other ways to solve the problem.
N: Okay
-- 10 minutes later all three are screaming again. I rush upstairs to find N tackling Y to the ground. My chances of playing SimCity tonight have become the most recent casualty --
Me: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!?
N looks at me stupefied
Me: She obviously doesn't like that, she's trying to push you off. You're teaching her to fight again!
and at this point, the six-year-old falls back on her old standby of extreme emotional outbursts and starts crying uncontrollably in the corner.
Clearly I need work on my six-year-old negotiating skills, but I failed to meet the newborn's demands of a fresh diaper every 3-5 hours and he has, as a result, decided to hold all the air in the house hostage until his demands are met.
Oh well, maybe I'll get the smell aired out before tomorrow morning. . .
Welcome to parenthood!
Four kids, the oldest is six.
To give some of the non-parents some insight as to what that means: little kids really can't take care of themselves. In fact, that's how they come--completely dependent on your time and energy. Everything they want out of life is provided by you.
If this were a hostage situation, then the silver lining to the situation is that their demands are simple--fresh milk every two hours, a new diaper about every 3-5 hours, and to be held or otherwise played with for at least 70% of their waking life. Since they sleep 16-20 hours a day, this really amounts to being half as productive as you'd otherwise be for 4 hours out of the day, dealing with some unpleasant smells, and mother having a highly irregular sleep routine.
And then they get older, and suddenly the hostage situation becomes a lot more real.
Fast forward two years, and suddenly they can walk, they can say words, they can climb, and their demands are no longer so simple or straightforward. They've, thankfully, realized that the bargaining position of, "mom never sleeps" is untenable. However, they now have some bargaining powers beyond screaming.
Negotiations take more effort, but less time, for example:
Me: Y, you've got to limit your dairy, or you'll get clogged up and put in a lot of pain.
Y: Cheese?
Me: It's gonna hurt you
Y: Want cheese!
Me: We've had this conversation before, and if I cave in, then you'll be crying in pain tomorrow
Y then puts the cheese down, and will either fall back to her old methods of crying, or use her new bargaining chip of starting a fight with her sister.
Then onto the four year old. They've learned exactly which buttons of yours to push, and which not to by how you respond to them. This either means your kid starts to become a clear blessing to your house, or a curse--depends on what they learned from observation. For us, it's a bit of both. She's learned that we sometimes respond to extreme emotional outbursts--uncontrollable crying, whimpering in a corner, but still relies heavily on her old fallback of fighting with her sister.
V: Can I watch ponies?
Me: You've watched 3 hours of T.V. today, time to find something else
V then promptly finds a toy, and starts playing with it right in front of her sister, often taunting her with it until her 2-year-old will-power is all but spent and she grabs for it.
Me: Why are you fighting?
V: Y took my toy!
Me (thinking): Who does she think she's fooling here? I'm not gonna reward them for bad behavior, but I have been working 10 hour days for the past month and I just want this fighting to end.
Me (aloud) : Alright, I'm taking all the toys and everyone can just sit and stare at the wall
-- 10 minutes later, a fight breaks out over who gets to stare at what dot on the wall --
My hope of spending 20 minutes decompressing from the day is shot. It was held hostage, but I didn't meet the demand of unending entertainment, and now one of the hostages is dead.
Me: Go play in different rooms
-- They casually obey, but pretend like they didn't hear anything after 5 minutes and we're back to where we were before the first fight broke out, until I forget that V has watched 3 hours of T.V., give up, and put an educational show on --
Needless to say, I am not particularly proficient at hostage negotiations with the four year old yet.
Then there's the six year old. She's sweet, but devious. She can be bribed, because she's learned the value of helping around the house and doing her homework. With proper maneuvering, I can use this one against the other 3 and hopefully sneak away from parenting long enough to go to the bathroom if I play my cards right.
And then I hear all three of the mobile children screaming.
N: Y hit me!
Me: Why did she hit you?
N: I don't know. . .
Me: What do you want me to do about it?
N: Tell her to stop
Me: Do you think that will work?
N: Yeah. . .
Me: Do you know how many times I've asked her not to hit?
N: Hmmm. . .twice?
Me
N: No. . .
Me: Look, I have never hit or pushed her. If she learned how to do that, she learned how to do it from you or from V. The best way to get her to stop pushing and fighting is to teach her by example and never hit or fight, but find other ways to solve the problem.
N: Okay
-- 10 minutes later all three are screaming again. I rush upstairs to find N tackling Y to the ground. My chances of playing SimCity tonight have become the most recent casualty --
Me: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!?
N looks at me stupefied
Me: She obviously doesn't like that, she's trying to push you off. You're teaching her to fight again!
and at this point, the six-year-old falls back on her old standby of extreme emotional outbursts and starts crying uncontrollably in the corner.
Clearly I need work on my six-year-old negotiating skills, but I failed to meet the newborn's demands of a fresh diaper every 3-5 hours and he has, as a result, decided to hold all the air in the house hostage until his demands are met.
Oh well, maybe I'll get the smell aired out before tomorrow morning. . .
Welcome to parenthood!
Change of Pace
I want to make this blog about being a parent. Dani and I think this would be a good topic to get us back into blogging. Shoot, that's what most people read blogs for--cute pictures and stories of kids.
With ours, we'll mix in stuff we've tried with our kids that has worked, and stuff that didn't work, and do our best to help keep the content of our blog useful.
Look forward to blogging with you.
With ours, we'll mix in stuff we've tried with our kids that has worked, and stuff that didn't work, and do our best to help keep the content of our blog useful.
Look forward to blogging with you.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Just so we're clear
Okay, clear statements so no one gets confused about my position:
1) All people are children of God, and are meant to grow up to be like their Father. I don't see this as a metaphor.
2) I am NOT okay with single parenthood -- it should be avoided at all costs and remedied as quickly as possible. My heart goes out to single parents everywhere, keep going and do your best. Single parenthood by choice is wrong. I believe this because of personal experience, and this won't change until I have a significant amount of counter-experience.
3) Pornography is WRONG. It promotes sex trafficking, is always a contributing factor to sex crimes, rewires your brain, and there is absolutely nothing natural about having sex with a picture. If an individual is going to view it, I have no right to stop them--but I believe that nearly every studio that produce it should be wiped out of civil society all together. Use those cameras to inspire, rather than to enslave.
4) I am NOT okay with abortion. I don't have any right to tell someone else what choice they should make, but I'd encourage anyone to find another way. If the mother is treating the fetus as an allergin, or there is absolutely no medical possibility of survival for mother and baby, or if a woman was raped, then I feel it's my responsibility to offer emotional support and help that family in anyway I can. This stems almost solely from religious beliefs.
5) I am NOT okay with same-sex marriage. Calling it marriage presents legal difficulties. If you can make a civil institution that preserves a religions' right to marry whomever they want without government interference, then I can be content with that. I'm not okay with people losing their jobs or social standing because of their sexual experience or preferences. I'm equally against people who use this delicate subject primarily for attention. These beliefs stem from my understanding of biology, religious beliefs, personal experience, personal preferences, and ideals.
6) I am ALL IN FAVOR of smaller government in low-population density areas. Larger government makes sense in high-population density areas. This belief is subject to change, and I question it often.
6a) Tag onto that last one, I am a DECENTRALIST. It keeps the power closer to where it can do the most good, and it lets locals determine the best way to govern themselves.
7) I have no right to force anyone to do anything, with the exception that I reserve the right to preserve my agency as well. I will say nothing on the matter until a person's actions conflict with that agency in a way I find unacceptable. Legislation and appropriation means enforcement. This belief is primarily religious, and comes from my personal preferences and ideals.
8) I do not believe in our legal system. Lawyers are either clerks (which I'm okay with, they're needed) or bullies. As someone who once was a bully, you often bully believing your defending or championing someone else--still bullying. If people would be more willing to forgive, we'd save ourselves a lot of heartache and money.
9) War is wrong. Preemptive police actions are war, and the people who start and perpetuate them are butchers. The people who financially enable war are drowning in the blood of their victims. Destroying a nation's capital, or government is war. The U.S.A. is at war with several nations right now, and we are the aggressors, we are in the wrong. No matter how wicked and horrible I think other people are, killing thousands of soldiers, civilians, and leaders is still killing. Unless you, personally, are willing to pull the trigger to kill a stranger, then I think supporting war is hypocritical. You don't get peace with bombs, and you don't liberate people with warfare. We are not liberating anyone, we're just disrupting their neighborhoods and telling them why we're so great and why they should be like us. This belief comes from my personal preferences, and personal religious education.
10) I am a divine creationist. I think evolutionary creationism is hokum. You can't make a working cell from organic matter, you can make a grouping of symbiotic prokaryotic cells into a eukaryote organism, and you see enough creatures of inferior complexity that are dependent on organisms of greater complexity for their survival to discredit the idea that all life was created via random processes. Using statistical methods, in order to see a planet like Earth, it would take many orders of magnitude longer than the estimated age of the universe for our planet to be in the state it's in. In fact, given the aforementioned holes in "evolution as a means of planetary creation," the best of our understanding dictates that this world is a numerical impossibility--particularly when critically inserted into drake's equation (you have multiple zero terms).
Fossils are likely designed creatures that God wouldn't put life into because they disrupt the ecosystem, or detract from His divine plan for us. We lived before we came here, and a lot of what we see on the Earth today came from ideas and designs we shared with God--He obviously refined them, and made them viable, and granted them life. We considered it a privilege and a high-honor that God would adopt our ideas as His own.
Cell mutation and adaptation is normal and par for the course--makes sense that God would want His works to last for a very long time, seeing as He is eternal. He'd build anything that was meant to last to be very resilient and durable. Evolution in that sense, that living organisms adapt and gain greater capacity to exist in their environment is scientific fact and indisputable.
11) Global warming is fact. Man-caused global warming is a silly thing to debate. It's happening no matter what the cause, we can attempt to fight it and lose, or we can adapt to it and prosper.
12) Science is not a system of beliefs. The best science is data, and methods to repeatably obtain similar data. Science needs engineering (or experimentation) before it's of any worth, and engineering needs science to be of any value.
13) Racism has a place. It can help us understand a person's background, and cultural beliefs. If it influences the way we treat them in any way, or mars our perception of them, then it's wrong.
1) All people are children of God, and are meant to grow up to be like their Father. I don't see this as a metaphor.
2) I am NOT okay with single parenthood -- it should be avoided at all costs and remedied as quickly as possible. My heart goes out to single parents everywhere, keep going and do your best. Single parenthood by choice is wrong. I believe this because of personal experience, and this won't change until I have a significant amount of counter-experience.
3) Pornography is WRONG. It promotes sex trafficking, is always a contributing factor to sex crimes, rewires your brain, and there is absolutely nothing natural about having sex with a picture. If an individual is going to view it, I have no right to stop them--but I believe that nearly every studio that produce it should be wiped out of civil society all together. Use those cameras to inspire, rather than to enslave.
4) I am NOT okay with abortion. I don't have any right to tell someone else what choice they should make, but I'd encourage anyone to find another way. If the mother is treating the fetus as an allergin, or there is absolutely no medical possibility of survival for mother and baby, or if a woman was raped, then I feel it's my responsibility to offer emotional support and help that family in anyway I can. This stems almost solely from religious beliefs.
5) I am NOT okay with same-sex marriage. Calling it marriage presents legal difficulties. If you can make a civil institution that preserves a religions' right to marry whomever they want without government interference, then I can be content with that. I'm not okay with people losing their jobs or social standing because of their sexual experience or preferences. I'm equally against people who use this delicate subject primarily for attention. These beliefs stem from my understanding of biology, religious beliefs, personal experience, personal preferences, and ideals.
6) I am ALL IN FAVOR of smaller government in low-population density areas. Larger government makes sense in high-population density areas. This belief is subject to change, and I question it often.
6a) Tag onto that last one, I am a DECENTRALIST. It keeps the power closer to where it can do the most good, and it lets locals determine the best way to govern themselves.
7) I have no right to force anyone to do anything, with the exception that I reserve the right to preserve my agency as well. I will say nothing on the matter until a person's actions conflict with that agency in a way I find unacceptable. Legislation and appropriation means enforcement. This belief is primarily religious, and comes from my personal preferences and ideals.
8) I do not believe in our legal system. Lawyers are either clerks (which I'm okay with, they're needed) or bullies. As someone who once was a bully, you often bully believing your defending or championing someone else--still bullying. If people would be more willing to forgive, we'd save ourselves a lot of heartache and money.
9) War is wrong. Preemptive police actions are war, and the people who start and perpetuate them are butchers. The people who financially enable war are drowning in the blood of their victims. Destroying a nation's capital, or government is war. The U.S.A. is at war with several nations right now, and we are the aggressors, we are in the wrong. No matter how wicked and horrible I think other people are, killing thousands of soldiers, civilians, and leaders is still killing. Unless you, personally, are willing to pull the trigger to kill a stranger, then I think supporting war is hypocritical. You don't get peace with bombs, and you don't liberate people with warfare. We are not liberating anyone, we're just disrupting their neighborhoods and telling them why we're so great and why they should be like us. This belief comes from my personal preferences, and personal religious education.
10) I am a divine creationist. I think evolutionary creationism is hokum. You can't make a working cell from organic matter, you can make a grouping of symbiotic prokaryotic cells into a eukaryote organism, and you see enough creatures of inferior complexity that are dependent on organisms of greater complexity for their survival to discredit the idea that all life was created via random processes. Using statistical methods, in order to see a planet like Earth, it would take many orders of magnitude longer than the estimated age of the universe for our planet to be in the state it's in. In fact, given the aforementioned holes in "evolution as a means of planetary creation," the best of our understanding dictates that this world is a numerical impossibility--particularly when critically inserted into drake's equation (you have multiple zero terms).
Fossils are likely designed creatures that God wouldn't put life into because they disrupt the ecosystem, or detract from His divine plan for us. We lived before we came here, and a lot of what we see on the Earth today came from ideas and designs we shared with God--He obviously refined them, and made them viable, and granted them life. We considered it a privilege and a high-honor that God would adopt our ideas as His own.
Cell mutation and adaptation is normal and par for the course--makes sense that God would want His works to last for a very long time, seeing as He is eternal. He'd build anything that was meant to last to be very resilient and durable. Evolution in that sense, that living organisms adapt and gain greater capacity to exist in their environment is scientific fact and indisputable.
11) Global warming is fact. Man-caused global warming is a silly thing to debate. It's happening no matter what the cause, we can attempt to fight it and lose, or we can adapt to it and prosper.
12) Science is not a system of beliefs. The best science is data, and methods to repeatably obtain similar data. Science needs engineering (or experimentation) before it's of any worth, and engineering needs science to be of any value.
13) Racism has a place. It can help us understand a person's background, and cultural beliefs. If it influences the way we treat them in any way, or mars our perception of them, then it's wrong.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Thursday, December 8, 2011
The way things work
Inspired by:
http://xkcd.com/385/
You chose to be a mormon, and you're free to change that decision at any time. You wouldn't change your decision for all the misunderstanding, flak, and criticism in the world--not because you're opposed to change, just because you don't believe negativity should influence your decision-making process.
It upsets you to hear people within your own faith become increasingly antagonistic towards their religion, but you do your best to bite your tongue.
You try to illustrate the logical disparity in the way your treated because of your faith on particular matters, only to be received with more antagonism and criticism.
You know you're not right about everything, and that's fine, because you're still learning and know that you have a long way to go--but you ARE right about a few things and get attacked because you won't compromise that standard.
You can see wisdom, and room for improvement on your church's policy--but acknowledge that you don't have any certain idea as to HOW to improve that policy, and simply lack enough information to make an educated guess.
Having said that, you don't mind being held to a double-standard, because you've always held yourself to the highest standards you could think of, and you don't mind that other people do the same to you.
You're a mormon by choice. . .no one is making you stay that way but yourself. You're still a mormon.
http://xkcd.com/385/
You're not a mormon
- You get completely wasted one night and get in a car accident.
Society) Doesn't care, let the authorities handle it.
Your church) Frowns on your reckless behavior - Accuse people of not being "born again" to their face
Society) Is dismissive of you, largely doesn't care
Your church) Varies from praising you for being a defender of the faith to not really caring - You attack someone's faith or way of life
Society) Is tolerant and largely silent regarding your behavior
Your church) Praises you, in general, for supporting them. Tries to publicly preach love and kindness.
Now, you're a Mormon.
- You get wasted and get in a car accident.
Society) Let the authorities handle it. You see a handful of news articles describing how the mormon church is wrong because they preach abstaining from alcohol and it creates these nut-jobs who inevitably go overboard.
Your church) Varies depending on your attitude. It ranges from "let the authorities handle it" to "removal from the church, and let the authorities handle it" - You boldly state to someone that what they're doing doesn't fit your interpretation of doctrine
Society) Criticizes church policy, demonizes you, and tries to make your mistake as public as possible.
Your church) Tries to lovingly correct you, and reminds you that we are to do our best to teach principles and leave the interpretation up to the Spirit of God. Church usually defends its members from the public flak they get, while still attempting to help the public distinguish the difference between an individual member and the church as a whole. - You attack someone's faith or way of life
Society) Large quantities of angry and loud people start protesting around your places of worship, everything you said is circulated as fast as modern media will allow. People start drafting legal cases against you, and try to label you and everyone of your faith as bigoted and entirely off-base.
Your church) Reminds you of the policy and doctrine instituted in 1844, that we claim the privilege of worshipping God, and allow all men the same privilege to worship how, where, and whatever they may. Makes a public statement that the church in no way holds your position or view point, and never has.
Now you're me
You chose to be a mormon, and you're free to change that decision at any time. You wouldn't change your decision for all the misunderstanding, flak, and criticism in the world--not because you're opposed to change, just because you don't believe negativity should influence your decision-making process.
It upsets you to hear people within your own faith become increasingly antagonistic towards their religion, but you do your best to bite your tongue.
You try to illustrate the logical disparity in the way your treated because of your faith on particular matters, only to be received with more antagonism and criticism.
You know you're not right about everything, and that's fine, because you're still learning and know that you have a long way to go--but you ARE right about a few things and get attacked because you won't compromise that standard.
You can see wisdom, and room for improvement on your church's policy--but acknowledge that you don't have any certain idea as to HOW to improve that policy, and simply lack enough information to make an educated guess.
Having said that, you don't mind being held to a double-standard, because you've always held yourself to the highest standards you could think of, and you don't mind that other people do the same to you.
You're a mormon by choice. . .no one is making you stay that way but yourself. You're still a mormon.
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Read a "Typical Saturday Morning" post of this nature, so here's the evening version courtasy of yours truly. Dad Wit...
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Dani and I have taken our intent to buy a home to a new level. We've been touring homes in central Utah county (from Provo up to Pleasa...
