Saturday, August 27, 2011

It's a baby (Part 1)

Dani and I (as of last November) were pregnant, again! Baby number 3. Wow. I'm gonna write the blog post in present tense so you can enjoy the story of it.

When did we get old enough to have three kids? Well, no matter, it's happening. When N was born, I was so uncertain about whether or not I could be a parent, or rather a good parent. Could I change her diaper without gagging? Could I teach her to chose the right throughout her life? Could I help her learn to walk, or even to learn how to do a school assignment?

I think every parent goes through that when they're expecting. I happen to go through that with every kid, and none of those questions seem to get answered--no matter how long I've been raising them. I'm just as nervous from having this third kid as I was with the first--and I don't think that part of it is getting any better.

I'm less anxious though--I know my wife is going to be uncomfortable, and that she's going to get some of the baby blues. The previous pregnancies have helped me understand my wife more, but not necessarily how to be a better parent.

It's hard to keep all my thoughts about this organized. Maybe the best way is to just write out one thought at a time and try to make sense of them all.

I believe my kids are individuals, and therefore worthy of individual attention. Not only that, but my kids are unique, interesting, complex, and dynamic--and I feel it would be foolish to try and mentally fit them into any formula or category. N is N, and V is V--that's how I see it. They are not "my kids" in my mind, they are N--who is loving, wonderful, generally cheerful and my daughter, and V--who is smart, strong, sweet, and my daughter.

I know this next kid is going to be the same way: an individual. I think I'd have a hard time with a kid that deliberately chose not to try and discover themselves.

Why I'm (still) a Mormon

I don't expect much more to ever be posted on this blog, and I'm largely just posting this to share it with some particular friends....