Monday, October 6, 2008

Hard days

Some days are tougher than others. Some nights too. I keep asking myself what the best way to deal with them is. Sometimes I find the best way is to get it over with quickly. For days with a lot of small irritating problems, it's best to just get through them quick--like you were tearing off a bandaide. Don't look, don't think, just go quick and get it done.

Today was a day where the band-aide approach was useless for me. I was angry and upset for a good portion of today. That's not typical of me, I don't usually stay angry for very long. Eventually, though, I found the answer. I was angry at myself. Everytime I tried to redirect my anger outward--on a pillow or in a nasty letter--nothing would happen. Once I admitted that I was angry at myself, and acknowledged why I was angry--things started getting better.

Other days are just simply overwhelming. Most the people I know have a large portion of these. I find, for me anyway, the best answer is to rack up rewards. It's a naturally unhealthy condition of human beings to want everything now, and to pay later. Fortunately, this attitude can work in your favor during those days that you're overwhelmed. Figure out what is required of you each day, and make a small reward that you can redeem later for each day you reach that. After that, find a good days work, and make the reward larger.

In my case, I enjoy playing MMO RPG games. I really enjoy them. To help myself maximize my enjoyment of them, I made the time I play those my reward. Everyday that I work more than ten hours, I get to add ten minutes onto my weekly allotment, and I get to add 40 minutes for each hour after ten that I work in a day. Last monday, I had a ton that I needed to get done, and ended up putting in a 15-hour day. Boy, Saturday was fun. I still had more things to do, but it definately helped me take away the feeling of being overwhelmed--knowing that I had already done more than I was comfortable doing.

Maybe that's the real key to it--just creating your own measuring stick for how your day went. You don't need to live up to your boss' expectation, or your parents or teachers, just learn to live up to yours. If it's not good enough for them--explain yourself, and tell them what your limits are. Amazingly enough, teachers, employers, and parents are human too. I'm amazed at how lenient my professors can be when I tell them that I put in three 12 hour days in a week. If you can do that--then you can always have decent days, and a large number of good ones too. Also, the biggest advantage to being your own judge is that if you find yourself having a crappy day, or particularly angry, there's a good chance that you're angry with yourself. From there, it's a simple matter of discovering why you're angry, and forgiving yourself for it.

Why I'm (still) a Mormon

I don't expect much more to ever be posted on this blog, and I'm largely just posting this to share it with some particular friends....