Friday, September 16, 2011

It's a baby (part 6)

Dani and I used to be critical of people who had kids very close together.  We had friends and people we knew who chose to have kids even when their economic or emotional circumstances were quite bleak.  We aren't critical of that anymore.

Having kids is better than being financially secure.  Financial security may (or may not) lead to emotional well being and stability, but having kids is a promise that you will find happy moments in your life.  Every time my little girls come up and hug me, every time they listen--or try to help around the house seems to melt away all the distress and trouble they caused and just make me smile inside.

So, I'm heading into the unknown here.  No promise of employment, not much assurance that this kid will be healthy, and knowing that I'll have a serious battle with depression on my hands very shortly.

I did have an interview at a place called Fishbowl inventories.  Nice work environment--abysmal pay scale.  I wasn't the right candidate for the job, but even if I was then I'd have to take a serious paycut.  In all honesty, I would probably make more money working as a full-time construction worker or entry level police officer than I would there.  I feel like I'm more valuable than that, so I guess I'll just keep looking.

In light of my circumstances, I've decided to start working on a personal project--making an indie computer game.  My general idea is to make a game that can switch between a top-down real-time strategy game, and a first person shooter.  It's gonna be one of the most challenging things I've ever done, but I think I'm up for the challenge.

In other news, Dani is still pregnant, and after the second ultrasound--we still have no idea what this baby is.  I'm hoping to just let it be a surprise now, do it the old fashion way.  Wasn't my first choice for finding out this kid's gender--but if the Doc can't tell, then he can't tell.

The other part of me just wants to take my wife to a clinic or private-sector ultrasound place and see if we can try again.  I must say though, the name Y is growing on me much faster than X--but I'd really like a boy just to make sure that the Millecam last name will be passed on.

I think, admittedly, I'd be more excited about having another priesthood holder on my home in another 12 years.  There's so much I'd love to teach him.  I guess I'll just wait and see.

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