Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Fidelity



This has been on my mind a lot: how do people turn unfaithful to their spouse? I don't get it. Without Dani, I'd be a total loser. Without my family, coming home at the end of the day would be as dull and boring as the rest of my day. To me, fidelity just makes sense. You never "fall" in love, it's more like a plant, you nourish it, and treat it properly, and it gets bigger and bigger until it starts bearing fruit. You grow into love--and failing to nourish it is like telling yourself, emotionally, that you don't want to eat later.

Infidelity is stupidity as far as I'm concerned. You worked hard with your spouse to get where you are--and putting that relationship in jeopardy by giving into a whim is socially suicidal.

We all have impulses, yes, and we all are prone to thinking about relationships outside of our marriage. It's largely hormonal--but needs to be dealt with. So, here's my simple guide to staying faithful:

Whenever you find yourself looking at a member of the opposite sex, imagine a stain-line on their underwear. Chances are you've seen something like that with your spouse when they were sick, or had a problem--and that won't bother you as much as seeing that same thing on a total stranger.

That's what it boils down to--fidelity--it's comparing the most unattractive things about your spouse to the probable unattractive attributes of everyone else. Try it, see how it works. You'll find yourself laughing at the thought.


One other thing about my wife--while I'm kinda on the subject of how cool she is: I had a dream a few nights ago about her. It was like I was on "The Price is Right," and they were announcing the products to choose from. It first showed the actress who plays Launa Lane on Smallville. It highlighted her nice smooth hair, her big beautiful eyes, and her good smile. Then Dani came up and showed her stunning hair, her breath-taking eyes, and her heart-melting smile and then the announcer added, "Yes, she's all that, and a bag of chips!" At that cue, Dani held up a bag of chips just like the kind that she puts in my lunch every day, and winked at me.

It was hilarious, and so true. Dani is all that and a bag of chips!

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